As you watch any romantic encounter unfold on the big screen, it becomes evident that romantic movies and real life relationships are completely different. You may think there is something wrong with your relationship when you see your communication is not as effective as the leads on the screen. You may question why certain moves in the bedroom do not match up with the way intimate moments are so seamless in your favorite drama. Life is unlike the movies but it is hard to avoid the question “why?”

At the Movies

Every moment seems perfectly balanced and predictable as the lead actor and lead actress slowly fall in love over quirky similarities and mutual interests. You know from experience that this one-in-a-million meeting is exactly that – rare and unlikely. During movies, screenwriters spend months and months perfecting this image of what is an ideal and realistic fight or kiss or passionate speech. Realistically, the actors have nothing to do with developments of the character they play. Their job is to create a world that allows audiences to experience events beyond their reach. Though you observe it with familiarity of a fly on the wall, all of the contributors to this film have spent hours trying to imagine a world that is a step above reality.

Real Relationships and Sex

In a real relationship, you do not fast forward through all the little moments that have lead up to the emotional and pivotal moments. This slow progression makes the impact is so much less intense. Fights are not always resolved with a five-minute discussion. Life tends to be awkward, messy, passionate, and real in a way that no movie script can match.

Even real sex does not match up to the movie screen. In a movie, the sex scene cuts away to each expression and movement to make it appear rougher or more sensual. In our real experiences, there are no cutaways. Each moment is not perfect. There are cramped muscles and repositioning to find a comfortable way to lay, stand, or straddle. The beauty of this difference is that, as much as a movie attempts to recreate the real thing, there is no way to covey each touch and sensation.

The Result

Society gives the impression that relationships and sexual encounters should be like the movies because you do not see what happens behind the lens. In reality, these intimate moments that you feel privy to are not real. Our romantic relationships are real. No matter what emotions a sex scene triggers in a movie, the reality offers something that you cannot put on a screen.